Are you where you want to be, doing what you want to do, in a way that honors all of you? I’m talking about the all that you feel and the all that you know. Or are you resolved to just accept your fate, totally disavowing the power you have to make a difference in your own life?
Be honest, are you even comfortable asking yourself these questions? Or do you view it as ungrateful whining without a purpose? Have you been fooled into accepting that this is all there is?
When you did your last self check-in for your own sanity’s sake, by any chance, did you feel like you had put on a lead suit and Gorilla glued your feet in place? Like the world was revolving around at warp speed and your mind was slow rolling backwards? While the theme music of your life played at a pitch that only you and the neighborhood dogs could hear, but you were still off beat and out of step? If you’ve ever experienced anything remotely like this, you have indeed been in stuck mode.
If you did have occasion to recognize this “stuckness” and somehow found the nerve to share your sentiments with friends or family, I would guess that it didn’t go over that well. Most people are less than ecstatic in their own circumstance and therefore have minimal sympathy for your lamentations and revelations. So tell me, did you get the big-eyed blank stare, like “WTF were you expecting out of life anyway? ” Or was it the Poor Little Tink-Tink speech,”it will all work out in the end, just be happy with what you’ve got, it’s more than most have”?
Just as soon as their response began to resonate with you, did you feel defeated, and retreat to your inner child self? Close your eyes, count to ten, then use your imaginary powers to turn back time, so you could suck all of those words back down your throat? If the answer to these questions is a big HELL YEAH, then welcome, apparently we have shared some parallel life space. Good luck finding someone who understands why your spirit is restless and yearning in your own circle.
Let’s be honest, our lives are not the worst, but for whatever reason it is still more than we can stand. It just feels like it is the same old tired mess with a lifetime supply of more of the same on deck. Like we are supposed to be miserably stuck existing when what we need is to live fully.
Houston we have a problem! And it begins and ends with us.
We are the change agents of our lives. Nothing significant happens for us, without us. We have to be daring enough to unstick ourselves. Love ourselves enough to do a different thing. Be bold enough to live because just existing is killing us. I’m talking a slow and agonizing death, and yet we are still accepting the we “don’t deserve to be happier” narrative.
There is a long hard road to figuring out that we really are stuck and that there are other ways of being. The harder part is coming up with an actual plan of action to remedy the situation. But, the even more difficult part, is acting on that plan against the nays of conventional wisdom. Daring to buck the status quo, to throw up the deuces and go, takes heart. Putting an exit plan in your hand is proof that you are ready to design the life you want and deserve.
For some of us the redesign may only mean quitting our job or going back to school. Others may need to leave their big city for a one stop light town, or vice versa. But a good portion of us may need a total overhaul. By rethinking relationships, redefining boundaries and declining overreaching commitments, we are positioning ourselves to make moves. Welcoming those changes in location, vocation, and opportunities for personal elevation, which have always been available and yet, for one reason or another, we had chosen to keep on the back burner, is key.
Those feelings gnawing at you from the inside, telling you that the current state of affairs is unacceptable, are pushing you toward your new wholeness. There is more than a light at the end of the tunnel. There is a new you eagerly itching, to be made. If you get lucky, a happier, healthier, even wealthier, version of yourself will emerge ready to reveal it’s grand transformation to the rest of the world.
Everything done in life is a gamble, there are risks whether continuing to do the same old thing or trying something brand new. So why not bet on yourself? Why not step out on faith or whatever you call it, and be bold in your stance? Ramble with a cause, take a chance on you!
Will it be easy? I doubt it. Will people think you are crazy? Absolutely! Will it be worth it? I all but guarantee it.